Home Sports Nick Saban believes ‘rat poison’ from media is invading Alabama players’ heads

Nick Saban believes ‘rat poison’ from media is invading Alabama players’ heads

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The dang media is at it again, folks.

After Alabama beat Texas A&M 27-19 on Saturday night to improve to 6-0 on the season, Nick Saban wasn’t happy. This doesn’t come as a surprise considering Saban isn’t pleased after his team wins by 50 points, so when it only wins by eight, you’re going to have one angry coach.

So why did Saban’s team only win by eight points? That dang ol’ media blowing smoke up its butt again. Or in this case, poisoning his team.

“We just didn’t play as well tonight, and you have to give them a lot of credit for it,” said Saban when asked about some three-and-outs from his offense in the first quarter. “I’m trying to get our players to listen to me instead of listening to you guys. All that stuff you write about how good we are, all that stuff they hear on ESPN, it’s like poison. It’s like taking poison.

“Like rat poison.”

Oh, those sociopaths in the media are up to their old tricks! They’re just poisoning Saban’s team with compliments, not giving a damn about the consequences! Those players might feel good about themselves!

My God, mom might put up an article about her baby boy on the fridge. Can you even imagine?

As a member of the murderous media, I can’t help but feel partially responsible, so I make this plea to you my fellow media members.

Stop saying good things about Alabama. Stop ranking them so highly on your ballots. Don’t hype it up and help it get that playoff spot that Saban definitely doesn’t want because it might make his players too confident.

We have to stop. If we don’t, we might kill the Tide.

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